Adventure of a BioNerd: How to become a Parisian in one hour.

I got this now, I am an expert. It helps that I spend any spare minute I get in Paris.

This Friday I had the day off and [surprise] I went to Paris.

I was just waiting for a friend at Hotel de Ville when a guy across the street on a motorbike points to me. So being the person that I am, I just point back… Then he waves me over… Now again I remind you this all happens across the street… as in he has stopped his motorbike halfway across the busy street in Paris… So at first I thought it was a person that I knew but just can’t see very well (I’m blind), so I head over. Once I make it to the middle street barrier thing I realize I do not know this human. But then he goes:

Him:“русская?” [“Russian?”].

[rest of the conversation was also in Russian but I hate using the on-screen keyboard and I’d have to translate it all anyways so I’ll just continue writing in English].

Me: “yes”

Him: “What’s your name?”

Me: “Anastasia, you?”

Him: “Sasha”

Him: “What are you doing tonight come to a party with me.”

Me: “Sorry I have plans. But I am more interested to understand why you thought I was Russian and decided to scream that across the street to me”

Him: “Because you just look Russian. I instantly knew.”

Me: “Well I’m flattered thanks, but I won’t be going out with you”

Him: “Well how about tomorrow, take my number”

*proceeds to give me his number

Me: “Yeah, thanks”

Him: “Ok I will be seeing you soon I hope”

Me: “Right, drive safe”

Anyways it was more entertaining than it turned out written down, but it was still really weird! Like who calls out someone by their nationality across the street… Like what if I made him look like an idiot and said “no I’m chinese”, or something. Like it really is mind-boggling to me how he was so confident he knew my nationality.

So after that, I finally met up with a friend who showed me: the oldest thing in Paris, the oldest park in Paris, and the oldest building in Paris [but this one is obviously debatable, but the picture looks cool so whatever, we’ll pretend]. It was a day of exploration. I love days like that. While I do enjoy the days where I just wander around Paris, losing myself in it’s Parisian-ness, I also love days where I actually learn something and see something special.

So anyways, for the folks that are unable to explore Paris here’s the pictures of the things mentioned above:

The oldest place in Paris is this sort of stadium (think Gladiator) built by the Romans in the 2nd century. I'm surprised it is so hidden away and completely unrecognizable to tourists. Instead it's a great place for french kids to play football after school. Still this was really cool thing to see.

The oldest park... and all you see are these bushes.. I don't know what I was thinking and why this is the only picture I took of the park. It's called Place des Vosges and it's the oldest park in Paris.

Also I just took pictures of these houses because they stood out quite significantly. They are clearly older than the surrounding buildings... but I highly doubt they are the oldest in Paris.

Oh we also went to “Jardin des Plantes” – translates to garden of plants if I’ve spelt that correctly – but our first “attraction” was in fact kangaroos…. Yes I had the same confused look that you might be wearing at this moment. What in the world are kangaroos doing in the garden that is literally named “Plants”. Well turns out there is also a zoo nearby and the kangaroos are like a tease of what you can see at the zoo. Although I still don’t see the logic.

It was quite adorable as some of the mom's had joey's with them and they were so cute and tiny.

We also spent some time by the Seine, surrounded by guitar, drinks... and naked men bathing in the Seine... yes I am serious.

We walked through some square that I've already forgotten the name off, but it was surrounded by some really nice cafe's that I've got to check out.

True Parisian parking...

I then went to meet up with another friend for drinks (wine, obviously, I’m trying to fit in).

The Saturday was where I really got my lessons on how to be Parisian.

At first I went to grab coffee with a friend and we had an interesting conversation about crazy ex’s. Then I headed over to meet my host mom and some of her girlfriends for a night out at the theatre. We went to see the lovely one-man show “How to be a Parisian in one hour”.

So let me just say, if you are in Paris definitely check out this show! It is so hilarious and the interaction with the audience is really engaging. BUT WARNING. Do not take your parents or parents-in-law or grandparents (you get the picture) because there is tons of swearing and tons of sex-related conversations. It was quite hilarious because one of the audience members who got picked to come on stage came with his girlfriend… and mother-in-law. We had a good laugh.

What is the best part about the show, or about most humour, is how relatable it is. So again, if you are in Paris check out the show!

Just acting like the Parisians do. The man is Olivier Giraud, the creator of the show and truly a hilarious man.

On the Sunday I was exhausted. All I wanted to do was relax and sleep. I had cancelled all my plans for that day in Paris and stayed in my pyjamas until 2:30. I had to finally get out of them as I had a friend coming over, and well I needed to be somewhat presentable. She came by and then we had a 10 minute discussion on what we should do…. Guess what we decided… obviously we went to Paris.

But this time it was different because we took the car to Paris. Now Paris is one of a kind for driving… you don’t do it unless you can and are not afraid of most likely having your car smashed (you’ve seen the parking photo). Anyways when we got into Paris we found parking almost right away… and it was FREE. WHAT?? I know…. It was free parking in Paris… that’s like finding gold. We then took the metro (it was free this weekend) to Montmartre where I finally saw the Moulin Rouge and Amelie café!