Yesterday I called my mom in the morning, as I sometimes do. This time rather than having a regular chat and catching up, she picked up the phone and after the usual exchanges she said "Sergie's mom passed this morning".
Sergie is my stepfather. He is the exact definition of a Russian man. I respect him very much. He keeps our family safe.
I had no idea how to respond to this. I am not very good in these situations, no could I remember what Russians say in cases like this ("I'm sorry for you lose" doesn't sound the same in Russian). I hung up shortly to give them time. Even though I did not know her I was deeply saddened by this news and my day did not get better from here on.
He couldn't even go home for the funeral because they were having it the next day.
Lose is such a big part of our lives. We lose our pets, our friends and our families. It is just what happens, it is nature. We really should celebrate life. As hard as it is at first.
Today was not much better than yesterday.
I am frustrated with my research (statistics specifically), I have due dates coming up and I have already been rejected twice for two programs that I have applied to (where both of my lab mates for into a program). I haven't felt this low in a very long time. I want to give up so badly. I have no idea what to do next, I am lost and I just want to give up.
Sorry this wasn't a very happy-go-lucky blog.
Have a great weekend.
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