Body... what is your problem.

As it happens, once I move out I get sick. Being sick is the worst thing that can happen to me. I feel useless, and I hate being useless. I hate sleeping around, I hate not having enough energy to do my work or simple things around the house, I really just don't like being a couch potato.


But this weekend was pretty amazing, and totally worth this cold. On Friday my stepdad and I drove down to Toronto (the big city) and I got to spend some quality time with some amazing people.

First stop was my friend Ray. She is probably my most treasured friend. I have never met a person like her. She is truly an amazing person and an even better friend. We had a lovely time of sushi, movies, and a fantastic breakfast in the morning.
I left the next morning to see my dad, who happens to be leaving for England in less than a week. He let me practice on his standard car (very helpful as that is the car I'll be driving in France) and I must say I am getting pretty awesome at it. We mostly practiced on the hill, as this is where most standard drivers freak out. After saying goodbye to my dad I left him to travel back to downtown Toronto.

This area was much quieter than the area I was in on Friday. It was lovely! I stayed the night at my friends Sofie and Dave's place. They have a lovely little pooch, Scout. She was just the cutest.

I thought I was lost in Toronto (scary), also this was right after a hobo came up to me and mumbled something..

She looked much better than us in the morning. 

If people are that curious about my life you are welcome to follow me on Instagram, where I update as regularly as I can... sometimes even taking awkward selfies in public #letmetakeaselfie. 

 http://instagram.com/itsstasi

P.S I am listening to the Game of Thrones audiobooks, best thing ever! The only good thing about being sick and having to lay in bed the entire time. 

Un jour ou l'autre/ Христос Bоскрес

My goodness I am lazy. I haven't really been writing because there hasn't been much to say. This past Tuesday I moved back home. I will be here for almost 3 months. I must say it is exhausting, my little sister definitely keeps me busy, which helps in the procrastination department. However at times it can be so boring, I find myself continuously searching for things to do. I do have many things to do like work on my thesis.. Yes, yes, I've handed everything in but not really. I've handed in my final corrections to my professor so hopefully everything gets approved. Then I'd like to work on publication. Oh and don't forget the conference that I am going to in less than 2 weeks (which I am not ready for... I've got to redo my poster...)!

I must say my last couple of days in Kingston were pretty fantastic:

I had a "Last Year" party at my place that was creatively named: 

KANYE'S MILEY TWERK #YOLO GENERATION HASHTAG #PARTY SHOTZMAGEDDON #SWAG

Before that we went to the campus pub... which wasn't a good idea for me

Then later the next day I went herping (from the word herpetology - the study of amphibians and reptiles, but yes yes, we can laugh at how it sounds like I went looking for herpes). We found wood frogs, many salamanders, peepers and I finally got to hear the first frog chorus of the year! Fantastic feeling. 

Home isn't that bad though. There is so much nature where I live.. given I live in the middle of no-where in a forest. I caught a leopard female frog today (Lithobates pipiens), saw a ribbon snake (Thamnophis sauritus) which is really cool because they are quite rare, and, lastly, I got spooked by a Ruffed grouse (Bonasa umbellus).

I visited our horses today. This is the new addition to the family, a cute little foal. He really likes to jump on you (like a dog) which is terrifying because it looks like he will hit you right in the face with his hoofs. 

This was my lovely easter breakfast. So perfect, so peaceful. 

Well happy easter everyone! Now that I am not doing much I'll probably be writing more, but then again what will I be writing about if I have nothing to do... #firstworldproblems

Salut!!

So many things happening!

Lets begin with the most exciting news: I AM MOVING TO FRANCE!
Not for a long time, just for 10-11ish months. I will be learning the language and will hopefully become very fluent in the language quickly. I want to blend in with the crowd, rather than stand out like a tourist.

Secondly: I DEFENDED MY THESIS
Now I just have a couple of changes to make on it, submit it one last time, and then hopefully get it published somewhere. I also have the conference in the beginning of May. Which reminds me I better get working on my poster.

Thirdly: I am moving out in less than a week! Next Tuesday to be specific. Back home. Which is somewhat exciting. Meh. I guess it'll be nice to change things up a bit.

Fourth: This:

Our security guard social was this weekend! It was so fancy shmancy, with food, wine, and much later into the night, a keg. 

Lovely time! 

Lastly: My Society for Conservation social was last night. I made a huge oven roast, it was delicious. 

And this Friday I am having a party at my place to say goodbye to the people that are left over in Kingston. It'll probably be sloppy. 

Once I am hope I'll definitely be able to blog more! Promise..

The days of our [Science] lives

So much drama! I thought I left of the drama behind in high school.

People breaking up friendships, tears, anger, and where would we be without people being rude.

Now I am not a part of any of this, but I get vented to, and asked for advice.

I am not a fan of drama myself, but I don't like to see my friends get hurt. So what I do is I bring her tea, chocolates, and just listen. Oh and starting a 9pm throwback dance party in lab! That part was actually a lot of fun.

What I do want to talk about is this whole "rude" thing. I lose complete respect for people when they are assholes, plain and simple. If you are a pompous bastard please stay far away from me.
In my last post I mentioned how the poster awards had to do a lot with "biology politics". Well one of the people who won is in my lab (that's out of 3 people in my lab, 1 won a poster award). Now I am not saying he didn't deserve it, yet.

First, he won because he is a favourited by: my professor, TA's, my professors close colleagues. The only people who don't favourite him are his colleagues (so us, students). Now this isn't because we're jealous, trust me. He is favourited because of his project BUT the project isn't even his!!! My professor started this project and this guy is only CONTINUING it. Unlike my project where I made up my OWN question, my OWN methods, my OWN results, I didn't just get stuff handed to me like he did. So I believe, that because of all of this (and other minor details in this category he won). I again was to stress that this is not because of jealousy, because there are other people in my lab (Master's student) and people outside of the lab that agree with me. And when I told them about how he won, their response was similar to mine: "of course, it was almost predicted that he'd win".

Now this isn't the "drama" part. What happened yesterday was what really irked me. He started a conversation with me about how he has a lot of work, including thesis. One of his projects just happens to be due at the same time as his thesis. Here are his words almost exactly:
"So I think I am just going to go up to Professor ______ and ask for an extension. He should understand thesis comes first. And he obviously knows I am a good work, like I WON THE POSTER AWARD. Clearly he'll give me an extension".
Wow buddy... Clearly you have a complex over the fact that I didn't recognize that you won the poster award and I didn't congratulate you and knelt at your feet like you expect people to.
So this makes me pretty mad. But it gets better.

A TA passes our lab and stops to congratulate him on getting the poster award. To which he replies "Oh it really isn't a big deal, it's not like I get anything with it." So when we talk to me we want to be all high and mighty, but with others we're average. Fuck you too.

Please people, don't be egotistical assholes.

Deadline approaches.

I haven't posted in almost 2 weeks. So much for posting at least once a week. But! I havent been to Starbucks to write (it was a blogging atmosphere), I have had lots of work....

a lot of thesis work...

Like I wasn't getting out of the house because I had so much work...

So clearly I wasn't able to blog. 

St. Paddies day was my only day off, I swear.

It really was! The week before I was working on thesis drafts and of course the poster. Everything caused me so much stress, it was overwhelming, ending in a mental breakdown in lab on Sunday afternoon. I'm an emotional person but I have never had a mental breakdown, especially due to stress. But I got over it, got everything done, woke up 6am on St. Patricks Day to get the poster printed (for $50!!), went to work, and then, finally, went out to play.

All the hard work really paid off

Although it really sucks that I didn't win the poster award. Turns out Biology is all about politics and who you know, which pisses me off. 

Sadly, real life isn't any better.

Now I have to finish writing the thesis, final copy. It is due in less than a week now; hopefully I can get it done with no mental breakdowns. 

If anything I have this girl to keep me company:

Relax, take it easy.

Hmm free Starbucks samples. That and free WiFi. The perks of sitting in Starbucks and sipping on heavily overpriced lattes.

Last week was incredibly stressful for me. All day, everyday, I was writing my thesis rough draft. Even though it was a rough draft I still preferred to have as much of it done as I could. Well it was rough. One day my professor says "Give me what you have, don't stress too much". Then on the day it is due, he comes into the office, where it is just me, my thoughts and my thesis and says "I hope your writing is wonderful". Wait.... what?! Yesterday you say one thing and today you want it to be close to perfect?! Well he got what I could do. Whatever.

Right after handing in my thesis I headed off to work. Until 3 am I was staring down drunk people and checking IDs. Coming home, sleeping in until 11am and then heading out to volunteer. **A message to undergraduates in university/college in really any program: volunteer! Volunteer, volunteer, volunteer! Don't be shy to email professors, PhD students, Masters or even your fellow Undergraduates. I did not realize how many people need volunteers until I was surrounded by all these PhD and Masters students who were struggling to find people** Later that night I worked again (money is very helpful in this world). This time it was a Special Event, an Arts and Science Undergraduate Formal. Ladies looked beautiful, men looked handsome. It was a sight to see. Me and my other coworkers would entertain ourselves by pointing out our favourite dresses, some beauty no-nos and of course drunk people (but this was secondary to the fashion of course). I happened to end early (1:30 am) and headed down to join my friends at a pub, made my two guy friends walk me home and safely went to bed. This morning I set up for a Photo Contest that my Conservation Club is hosting which was so lovely. Looking at the pictures made me miss summer so much! I can't wait for all this snow to finally melt away, for the days to grow longer and for the dresses to emerge.

It's cold ok. 

Just a quick flashback to last weekend. A good friend of mine came to town and we had such a wonderful time going to clubs, having lunch and catching up. I pretty much just wanted to put this in because I think the pictures are cute.

We got matching rings because we're high school like that. 

And we're just adorable. 

They Stay Down Deep

Yesterday I called my mom in the morning, as I sometimes do. This time rather than having a regular chat and catching up, she picked up the phone and after the usual exchanges she said "Sergie's mom passed this morning".
Sergie is my stepfather. He is the exact definition of a Russian man. I respect him very much. He keeps our family safe.
I had no idea how to respond to this. I am not very good in these situations, no could I remember what Russians say in cases like this ("I'm sorry for you lose" doesn't sound the same in Russian). I hung up shortly to give them time. Even though I did not know her I was deeply saddened by this news and my day did not get better from here on.
He couldn't even go home for the funeral because they were having it the next day.
Lose is such a big part of our lives. We lose our pets, our friends and our families. It is just what happens, it is nature. We really should celebrate life. As hard as it is at first.

Today was not much better than yesterday.

I am frustrated with my research (statistics specifically), I have due dates coming up and I have already been rejected twice for two programs that I have applied to (where both of my lab mates for into a program). I haven't felt this low in a very long time. I want to give up so badly. I have no idea what to do next, I am lost and I just want to give up.

Sorry this wasn't a very happy-go-lucky blog.
Have a great weekend.